Mikal Watts Leaves U.S. Senate Race, Clears Field For ... Me

Mikal Watts withdrew from the U.S. Senate race this morning, as I knew he would. As much as I tried to keep it a closely-guarded secret, loose talk about my potential candidacy had spread a little too far. Watts knew -- as any reasonably astute observer of Texas politics would know -- that with me in the race, the over-40, balding white professional male candidate profile was sewn up. Voters don't want to choose between over-40, balding white professional males for Senate any more than they want to choose between Arby's and Burger King when they're ordering pizza.

Watts, by the way, steadfastly insists that he's 39 years old. Yeah, right.

Texas voters, of course, will be even more pained having to choose between an empty-headed sycophant who looks like he got sent over from Central Casting and an Afghan war veteran whose biggest leadership challenger to date has been organizing emergency food, water and shelter for over 7,000 Katrina evacuees. Please -- like we all haven't had relatives drop in unexpectedly!

For that reason, I am announcing the formation of an exploratory committee -- actually, a couple guys who'll meet at the Putt-Putt on Lamar and then have a pitcher of beer at the old gas station across the way -- to determine whether I should take the next step in running for the U.S. Senate, to wit, calling someone to ask what the next step would actually be. Keep posted for further thrilling developments.

In the meantime, here's Mikal Watts' (Who? See how quickly we forget?) statement:

"For the last five months I have been exploring a race for the United States Senate because I believe that our junior senator, John Cornyn, has let Texas down and is more concerned with his cronies and friends in Washington than with what's best for Texas.
"After spending the last several months putting everything into this campaign, I have seen the toll this effort has taken on my young children. For these reasons, my wife and I have made the decision that I will not be seeking the Democratic nomination for the United States Senate in 2008. I was brought up to believe that public service is a noble endeavor and I will continue to be involved at some level in the future. However, I realize that my time now should be devoted to serving my children so they may grow up in a healthy environment with both parents at home to meet their needs.
"The reasons for creating my exploratory committee still exist. As I have criss-crossed the state and met and talked with tens of thousands of good Texans, it is evident how much the people of Texas want and need a Senator who will fight every day for their interests and not the special interests. We need to elect a new Senator in Texas and I will personally do everything possible to support the Democratic nominee.
"It is hard to express the gratitude I feel for all the support my family and I have received as we have pursued this effort. I know that our vision for the future of Texas is one that all of our friends and supporters share. It's been one of the greatest blessings of my life for their faith in me, and for all of their hard work over the past months. While the decision not to seek the Democratic nomination for the United States Senate has been a difficult one, I know that it is the right one for my family at this time."