Gone To Texas

In the late 1820s and early 1830s, as news of flowing rivers, bountiful land, and good hunting reached the ears of hardscrabble farmers in Tennessee, many of them packed up and lit out for the new territory. Often, they scratched or painted the doors to the abandoned farmhouses with the letters, "GTT" -- Gone To Texas.

I gotta get gone to Texas. I've given up on Northwest and booked a flight on American to Austin through Dallas. I figure that, worst case scenario, I will at least get to Dallas. There are only a couple flights a day to Austin from Memphis. There are probably 20 a day from Dallas.

Meanwhile, my luggage is nowhere to be found. I went by the Northwest baggage service office, where the conversation went something like this:

ME: Hi, I'd like to see if I can pick up my bag. I was supposed to be on two flights to Austin that have been canceled.

NSFCSP (Not-So-Friendly-Customer-Service-Person): Sir, your bag is somewhere within the airport, stored until we can send them on to Austin.

ME: Well, can I get it?

NSFCSP: You can, sir, but it will take several hours.

ME: So I cannot get my bag now?

NSFCSP: That's right.

ME: Well, it says I have to file a missing luggage report within 24 hours of losing it. Can I have a form?

NSFCSP: Sir, you cannot fill out that report now. Your bag is not lost until you get to Austin.

ME: But if I cannot get to it, isn't that LIKE it's lost?

NSFCSP: Sir, it will not be lost until you are in Austin and the bag is not there.

I have to admit, there's a weird logic to this.

The upshot, of course, is that I am still in the clothes I had on yesterday. Ehh.